19

Sometimes I can’t accept myself for growing up too fast, leaving all the fun and the excitement of being a kid. I can’t deny I once had the thought of being so excited to grow up, being an adult, got more money, less problems, got driving licence so I can drive whenever I wanna go, doing whatever I want instead of getting stuck because of the under-18 sign like everywhere on this earth. Unfortunately all of these expectations are kinda suck.

What I expected are so different with what I go through now. Sometimes I just wish that I can go back to the time when I was still a kid and tell him to enjoy the days I was being a kid instead of dreaming to grow up fast.

I wish I can spend more time just enjoy watching ‘hey Arnold!’, just enjoy having problem of which color of crayon should I use, just enjoy talking to my own cat as I didn't have many friends before, just enjoy picking up my favorite ice-cream flavor and put it into the trolley, just enjoy reading comics, just enjoy my own life without listening to some rumors made by some bitches, just enjoy everything. Everything.

However how bad my life can be, I always remember this one quote, ‘life must go on’. The trick is easy--just keep breathing whenever shit happens to you. Just pretend that all bad things that come into your life are something precious that you can’t even buy at the flea market. Something that makes you more mature in life. Yes. Whatever it is, it’s not like all things are suck. I mean not really. But there’re two things that make me stronger since the day I was born till now.

One – you call it tree, you call it backbone, you call it universe. Whatever you call it, it’s family who always stand behind me in everything I do.

Two – I can say that people is like a rain. They come into your life, make some memories and then leave. But I’m glad for those who still stay by my side, especially at my worst, I’m honestly grateful to have friends like you guys.

As a 9 year old boy who got trap in 19 year old body, I always try to give positive vibes towards people around me. I just love making people happy especially because of me. The fact that I often commit mistakes shows how weak I am, still a normal person, just like you.  I’m that kind of people who rapidly reflect myself from the mistakes I just did but I can’t lie sometimes I still do the same mistake over and over again and I start to hate myself, even more.  To be honest I have that i-feel-bad thought in my head all the time but that’s doesn’t stop me to be good; good person, good son, good brother, good friend as one of my life’s goals is to be a better person tomorrow than I am today by learning from the mistakes of yesterday.